I waited for you

May-18-2017 – 6:05am

In bed, head deep into a dream of inverse reality. I waited for your smooth sway in the house makes up my oxygen to stay alive. I waited for your soft voice that song the eternal remedy for my life despair. I waited for your soft touch to tap my shoulder and wake me up, as if some mythic goddess, never praised enough, never unproven by science, paid me a visit. I waited for the look of your smile that put perplexity at shame and gives me daily fuel to make sense of living and carry on my engine of life.

I waited for your first words to me as if you invent love with each word that leaves your rose lips. I waited for your hug as if I was a prisoner in chains, shackles and needed your hug to be deliberated from the pain of not living. I waited for you as if I’ve never learned to wait for anything so precious or divine as you. I waited for you as I’ve waited for my first meal of the day, prepared by the best cooks of Eden.

I waited for your goodbye as I walk through another page of my life as if you were the fingers that flip my book each day. I waited for you as I was away from you, I counted the moments I get a glimpse of you like a fetus waiting for his first day. I waited for your presence around me as if you are the only reason why my timeline had a present.

I waited for you to walk into my room like an audience awaits the play of their lifetime in a presidential theater. I waited for you to inspire me each day as if I was mute, death and blind without you. I waited for you to get better, as if you are so divine, nothing can touch you or take you away from me.

I waited for your pains to go away as if pain had no business being without you.
I waited for your silence when silence was the only energy needed to keep this earth a spin.
I waited for you to approve my every single move, thought, action, reaction, as if you are the judge and the road to guidance, which shows me right from wrong.

I waited for you every waking moment of my life since I opened my eyes and will continue to until the unfair course of living stops. I waited for you to slow down my clock as if I was never there unless you existed in my moment as if you moved my clock. I waited for you to share my love for things as if I never loved anything we did not share together.

I waited for you to open your eyes for me and tell me one more time: “ Take care of yourself habibi” as if I lived in a world of savage uncertainty and your words made it safer. I waited for your call as if your words transmitted telephony. I waited for you as I walked through the alley of the unknown as if you are my guarantee to keep living. I waited for you as I ventured on a new path as if you will be there to catch me anytime I fall.

I waited for you

– 6:24am

Homesickness- It keeps on coming back

Each time i’m alone, soul tired and mind intoxicated by the prolonged dreams of progress, it hits me, like a withdraw from a bad addiction or a strong headache after a bottle of cheap scotch.
Shame on a country that separates parents and siblings, friends and memories, loved ones and chirpy feelings of soul surrender to another. But the world goes on, people grow apart but missed, feelings undergo metamorphism and the secret tears become more rare but heavier then the unforgotten lost moments of memories that could have been made if one would have stayed back home.